the collison of my hurt and my Healer

I'm not gonna lie to you, whenever I am in the car and not listening to my Pandora (Civil Wars and Phil Wickham are the best playlists), I'll turn on the local Christian radio station, Joy FM. Are there some songs that are cheesy...chyeah. But every once in awhile I'll turn it on and a song will really just punch me in the face.

I had come to a point where literally every single song that came on the station, I was numb to. I was harmonizing and jamming...wasn't worshipping one bit OR listening to the words being said! Go ahead, deduct 10 points from my "Good Christian" score sheet (that's a joke). God didn't like that too much, and as usual...He did something about it.

Heard the song "The Hurt and The Healer" by MercyMe? Yeah, it's quite popular, and I have been singing it since it's been overplayed on the station. Until this morning, God decided to turn the volume up a little bit, to form the lyrics into truths and to completely rock my day.

"It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say 'It’s over now'..."

Don't even try to tell me that's not comforting. That it isn't that simple. That it's not true. Because to be completely honest for once, I didn't believe that for one second 24 hours ago.

As a Christian, I am a walking shattered window, and Christ is the ONLY one that can put me back together. Although I am this truthfully shattered window, I had been walking around publicly as a brick wall...standing completely on my own as if I was strong enough or something, disguising my hurt with Christianese 'I'm great's and 'I'm fine's and 'God's got this under control's and helping other people before myself. PRAYING solely FOR OTHER PEOPLE and completely disregarding what God was trying to say to me.
I am once again brought back to the battlefield of not trusting God
Really Madeline? We're here again? Good grief!

In the past day, so much pain and brokenness has been brought to my attention that I had no idea about. I was looking far, near, and wide all over trying to help people out and be a good witness and comfort those who are hurting when in reality...God wanted me to look directly into that shattered window I like to call myself and look at my own reflection.

He said, "YOU are hurting Madeline. YOU are the one who needs to come to me. YOU don't need a simple, yet empty apology to feel better. Yes, you don't deserve what has happened to you, but look at me! I suffered on the cross for you, I died...persecuted until the very last breath so that you could have life at this very moment. Come to me...and I will heal your wounds with my blood."
Can I get a freaking amen?

I encourage you brothers and sisters, stop putting band aids on your wounds, they won't heal. Stop trying to heal yourself. Let Him wash the pain and the sorrows away. Open your Bible, it's all over Psalms. His steadfast love really does heal us.

"From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus."
[Galatians 6:17]
The hurt and the pain we go through don't leave marks at all...He washes those away. The only marks we withhold are His...which we are completely undeserving of.

get to know the blogger...

Alright, so I made a blog. Is anyone going to read it? Could I change the world? Is what I have to say going to win me a Nobel Peace Prize? Eh...unlikely. However, I journal to an extent that I wouldn't be surprised if I lost all feeling of my right hand and wrist. This brings us to where we are now...

Greetings viewers! Welcome to the mind of Madeline Chaney! English is my second best subject, let's pray that it be transparent throughout these blogs because I tend to simply purge ideas in all hopes that I can formulate sentence structures. I am a nineteen year old college student at Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri...like that really matters.

Look, God teaches me things all day, errday, and I feel the need to just release those 'things' if you will. I've learned in a very hard, and dramatic manor that bottling things up only leads to an overflow of heartache, and we have been given resources to outwardly express what is going on in our mind.
I am initiating my First Amendment rights and saying welcome, and I am excited to journey with you all through the rough and the smooth, the thick and the thin, and each aspect of what this world has to offer...in prayer that day in and day out we all can come to the same conclusion:

absolutely nothing [1 Timothy 6:7]